THE WOMAN BEHIND THE ENJOY CURVES BRAND GETS UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL
Joy Moreland was born and raised in sunny Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She later moved to the Washington, D.C. area in 2003 to attend Howard University to obtain her Bachelor’s degree in Broadcast Journalism. Joy continued to intern with NBC 4 and worked as a preschool teacher at The Hill Preschool until the end of the year of 2006.
Joy later taught in District Columbia elementary schools where she dedicated her love and passion for teaching for over fourteen years. Joy is a member of Mount Pleasant Baptist Church where she volunteers her time with Elfe G. Harvey and serves on her church’s choir.
When Joy is not teaching she is blogging or writing. Joy is a contributing writer for Queen Size Magazine. Some of Joy's works include Bridal Trends on the Runway, Queens on The Runway, Fashion of Cardi B, and much more. Joy has been a lifestyle blogger now for over five years. Joy’s passion for body diversity is important to show just because you are bigger you can still live your best life and live fashionably. Along her journey in blogging, she has received the District of Curves “The Blogger of the Year 2018.” She has been featured on many plus size brands social media, have worked with many brands to display diversity of body, and were featured several times on Greater Washington Channel 9 and WJLA 7.
Through Joy’s accomplishments and determination, the greater thing she adores more is always giving back.
When I reached out to Joy to talk about some cover ideas that we had, never in a million years did I expect this kind of exclusive. We talked bout everything under the sun and then she hit me with the tea. I was like whaaaaat? LOL! I know Joy to be NOTHING by authentic and supportive. My respect runs deep as we are a part of a mutual sisterhood. So when she said she was ready and willing to share her story with us, I have to admit my respect for her raised a degree or two. Not too many people are willing to open up to the most vulnerable parts of theirs lives in an attempt to help someone else. We all carry secrets that we are either afraid or ashamed to share out of fear of being judged. Here is Joy’s story…...
For years, friendships between straight women and gay men have been a subject of pop culture fascination. Books, television shows and feature-length films have all highlighted this unique relationship, noted for its closeness and depth. However, with society's attitudes toward gays and lesbians changing, it has become all the more important to build a holistic understanding of the relationships between gay and straight people.
It is no wonder why I fantasized over a male that’s gay. This phenomenon should-not be unforeseen, but in many eyes, it is. I have been wondering how this all came about. Of course, I have no rhyme or reason to liking a “gay” male, but my hormones sought different.
Since Covid has changed the dynamic of working in a facility, I decided to work wherever. I travel down south to visit my very close friends I have not seen in a while.
In the moment of chilling in southern Texas, I saw this fine specimen walk into the house. He stood roughly 5’6, latte-coffee skin, light muscular build, and a smile that would take a light company out of business. His overall build illuminated the room. His mannerism was impeccable. He had my attention.
I knew with slight disappointment, a relationship between this fine specimen and myself would never take flight.
As time went on, I would express my feelings to my very close confidants. They thought this debacle of a “like-love” situation I had was a phase. Some would give encouraging words, but in the same look give me the “side-eye” of craziness. My friends thought, me liking a gay man was hilarious, because why “would a straight woman like a gay man?”
During the mid-year, we all met down south to celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday. While there, my feelings were intense, I knew deep down and further below, a relationship with this human would never happen. I could not fight my feelings for this person. My feelings were blind and deaf to knowing this is person is gay, but he is a man.
One great jovial day I called my little brother, who is my crush's best friend, to ask a serious question. I asked, “I would like to get a small tattoo of his name on my collarbone?” Yes, I seriously asked him. He gasps and pauses. A long pause I might add. He kindly shook his head, no Joy. Like a child who is being combative, I explained, “why?” He is laughing and at the same time thinking, I am off my rockers. He went on to explain that my crush is very low-key. I was low-key disappointed. Slightly defeated!
Time went on; my feelings were growing, and growing for a gay man. Why? It was very unexplainable at the time. I already knew my answer. I did not feel defeated, but more exciting to like a man that I know that will “never” be mine. Seems odd and my feelings were in too deep!
I remember sitting by the pool and just relaxing. We were all talking and enjoying the outside and my crush asked, “Would anyone like to go to Starbucks?” I jumped up like a second grader who was excited to do a class’ chore. I accompanied him along the drive. The ride felt like a relationship and the conversation was substantially amazing. Then, it hit me as to why I would like this gay man so strong. It was still faint, but I saw why I liked a gay man!
Time went on and we spent the Fourth of July together. We went horseback riding, more like him, because the handlers said, “my weight did not qualify me to ride.” I was very ok with the decision. We later went to a museum, went for food, and enjoyed the day. Yes, you are wondering, was it just us…no! It is never “just us”! It was a group of us, but in my mind, it was just us!
Later that night, we will laugh and talk. The conversation will continued to center around us, more like me on the stand answering the attorney what do I see in a gay man. How did my feelings come about knowing he is gay? You know there is no future. I just rolled my eyes and gave a blank stare look.
As the year ends, we spend Thanksgiving together. We dressed alike, went shopping, bowling, and eating, all accompanied by our friends. Yes, we were the jokes of all the gatherings. Many thought this was a phase and still could not believe I was still in a “like-love” relationship with this person.
It is a New Year and still my feelings have not changed. We have gone to South Africa and spent much needed time together. No! Friends accompanied us.
While on the soil of the Motherland, I lost my phone. I was so distraught and horrified! I wanted to cry. Eight teardrops slightly produced, but I managed a little. I searched my room, the living room, and accommodating areas. My crush helped me to look for the missing phone. Still no phone! We had reservations at a particular restaurant and could not be late. I had no phone. While at dinner, we sat across from one another, he offered his phone, we spoke, he kept me calm and that made my night. I forgot all about the phone.
Yes, we found my phone in the toilet. That story is for another time.
We continued to spend much more time together and my feelings for going on two years have not changed, but have gotten stronger.
In all gay men don't mate with women—or compete with them for mates—women feel a certain level of comfort with gay men, and the process of forming a close friendship can occur relatively quickly…quickly!
…this story is still developing…stay tuned!
QSM: This is a very intriguing story and I cannot put into words how much I respect you for sharing it with us. I am just going to go ahead and ask you what I think others are asking after reading your story. Why on earth did you decide to share this publicly?
Joy: I want to share that straight people do genuinely like gays and more than in a friendly way. I know some people want to differ in a way, but it is my opinion.
QSM: Did you ever tell him how you feel about him? What was that conversation like? Has he told you how he felt about you?
Joy: Oh heck yes! He is very aware of how I feel. In addition, people around us always make sure they tell him how much I feel about him.
QSM: Man or woman; I understand that the heart wants what the heart wants, and that is a hard battle for the brain to win. Trust me when I tell you I speak from experience when it comes to the heart. Am I correct to assume that he is single?
Joy: He may be single!
QSM: How do you think are you going to feel when he starts dating someone? Do you think that will change your friendship for you? (have you thought about that?)
Joy: He dated someone. My feelings seem ok. I was not in uproar, but more inquisitive of how this dude is treating my future “man”. No, it will not change my heart, nor it will not change our friendship. He is very warm towards me and will not be rude. I will give him his space…at times! I will “like-love” from afar.
QSM: Deep down, what is it about him that has your heart? Is it a physical attraction, lust or the idea of what you see in the man of your dreams?
Joy: I see him as the man of dreams. I know that he is a genuine man. Despite that he is gay, he is still a man. He is very caring. He is very thoughtful. I say all of this because we have been on many trips and have gone places and his character has never changed. As much as I want to say he does it for me, he treats everyone with the utmost respect and the same traits.
QSM: Has he ever been with or in a relationship with a woman that you know of?
Joy: Great question! I have asked, never got an answer, but I am not sure.
QSM: Is it your prayer that one day he would say “Joy let’s be together”?
Joy: Oh would that be a prayer answered! Yes! I know it is very far-fetched, but prayers change things.
QSM: How do you think he will feel after reading this? (Not that we will ever reveal his identity) Or will you tell him? LOL
Joy: I will not need to tell him there is a story, he has nosey friends who will love to spill tea! He would think it is cute. Probably thinks wow, “she really does like me.” I pray he reads it and lets me know what he thinks.
QSM: He sounds like a great person and an amazing friend. Just remember to keep that true friendship no matter what! I wish you lots of luck and I will be following up with you. Final question. What do you say to your family and friends who think you are crazy?
Joy: To my family and friends who think I am crazy… I love you and watch God work!
all images on this page shot by Kia Caldwell
