SHEILA SIMS: TRIUMPH OVER ADVERSITY
Sheila Sim's upbringing defied convention from the start; her parents, both under 21, had her and her sister amidst challenges. Her father's struggles with addiction led her mother to waitress tirelessly, isolated from her disapproving family. Sheila's life took a dark turn when her stepfather, seemingly perfect on the surface, subjected her to unspeakable abuse.
Courageously, Sheila disclosed the abuse to her sister, who, in turn, compelled her to share the horrifying truth with their mother. Despite initial isolation, Sheila's mom believed her and confronted the abuser, leading to a separation. Tragically, Sheila's mother succumbed to addiction, leaving her devastated at the tender age of 12.
Abandoned by family, Sheila navigated foster care, battling self-harm and attempting suicide. Despite the darkness, she persevered, graduating high school and entering college. Unfortunately, romantic relationships brought further challenges, including physical abuse. The birth of her son became a turning point as Sheila resolved never to endure such brutality again.
In 2019, Sheila faced a new adversary – skin cancer. Mohs surgery and a lengthy recovery followed, marking the beginning of her triumphant battle against Basal Cell Carcinoma. Two years later, a diagnosis of PCOS presented a new set of hurdles, including infertility. Joining a support group became an essential outlet for Sheila, providing solace and understanding.
Despite the hardships, Sheila emerged stronger. A mother, entrepreneur, and confident model, she cultivated passions, obtained certifications, and secured fulfilling jobs. Through it all, she learned to love herself, embracing grace and positivity. Sheila's story serves as a testament that one's past doesn't define them, and every challenge can be overcome with resilience and determination.
QSM: Reflecting on your childhood, what specific moments or experiences stand out as particularly challenging, and how do you think they shaped your resilience and outlook on life?
Sheila: Honestly the death of my mother and being abandoned by my family. Not having anyone I could run to made me have to work 3 times harder than anyone else because there was no one to bail me out if I failed, failure has just never been an option in any aspect of my life.
QSM: Sharing such a traumatic experience must have been incredibly difficult. Can you describe the emotions and thoughts that went through your mind when you decided to open up to your sister about the abuse? How did that moment impact your relationship with her?
Sheila: I was scared. I was worried no one would believe me, because at the age of 12 it was my word against an adult’s and typically in my experience the adult is always believed over a kid. For a short while it made our bond stronger, we now had something in common, both had been abused and both had survived it.
QSM: Losing your mother at a young age and navigating foster care is undoubtedly a unique and challenging experience. Can you share a specific memory or instance during that period that had a profound impact on you, either positive or negative, and how it influenced your journey?
Sheila: I had always been pretty easygoing going, got along with people well but going into a foster home, I found it more challenging because everyone had trauma and almost none of us knew how to deal with it at that age. I felt very alone for the first time, and I spiraled to a dark place and tried to take my life. However, God had another plan for me and coming out the other side of that there was a positive, I learned I could survive anything, no matter the hurt and no matter the obstacles. God had a plan for me, and I was going to carry out whatever it was.
QSM: Amen to that! Graduating high school and entering college amidst adversity is an extraordinary achievement. Can you recall a specific hurdle you faced during your education journey and how you managed to overcome it, perhaps with a memorable moment of triumph?
Sheila: I started to feel like an unwelcome visitor in my foster home once her adult daughter moved back in. She was rude and made us all feel like we were not worthy of being there and I started to act out. My senior year my grades slipped a little and I cut some classes. One of my teachers noticed the change and had a talk about how I only had to tough it out for another few months and I would be able to do whatever I wanted to do with my life. I ended up graduating with Honors despite my foster mother refusing to pay for my cords. They still allowed me to walk across the stage wearing them because they said I earned it.
QSM: The decision to break the cycle of abuse after the birth of your son is powerful. Can you share a personal anecdote or a specific incident that made you determined to create a different life for yourself and your child?
Sheila: I almost died while my son was in the house. Realizing that it was more than some bruises and pain. Realizing I had almost lost my life because I thought I couldn't leave a man and wasn't going to be able to see all the beautiful moments with my son growing up or him possibly having to be left with the same rage I endured was enough for me to leave. I could never subject him to that, I never wanted him to grow up and think that's what men should do to women. I wanted to be strong for me, but my son gave me the courage and the ultimate gift of true love to be able to do that.
QSM: Battling skin cancer and later being diagnosed with PCOS are significant health challenges. Can you share a moment of strength or vulnerability during these struggles that stands out in your memory, and how did you find the resilience to keep moving forward?
Sheila: When I found out I had cancer I cried but finding out that it was one of the best types of cancer to have because surgery could easily remove it made it much easier to push through. PCOS was a little different, I still find out new side effects and changes in my body and knowing that it made me infertile when I really wanted another child was really heart breaking for me. I still struggle with it from time to time, but I give thanks for the one beautiful son I do have. I could have not been able to have any, but I was blessed and it always me to be grateful and not dwell on it even though it’s an everyday battle with PCOS.
QSM: Joining a support group is a pivotal step in many people's healing journey. Can you share a specific encounter or piece of advice from the support group that profoundly impacted you and contributed to your growth and well-being?
Sheila: If I am being completely honest, I never really asked for any advice - what being in the support group did for me was, it opened my eyes to how blessed I really am. Was I diagnosed with this horrible thing that does affect me every day? Yes, but my symptoms for the most part are mild compared to what some of the women in the group go through. I can't do anything but thank God that I don't go through what some of them go through and it helped me so much more positive instead of saying why me.
QSM: Let’s talk about healing. What do you currently do for a living?
Sheila: Currently I am an entrepreneur. I do a lot of different things, but my main passions are modeling and my dessert business, Sheila's Sweets. I love doing creative photoshoots, it’s just something incredible about being able to bring a whole new vision to life outside of yourself. My dessert business is my baby, I make unique desserts - things you are gonna have trouble finding anywhere else like Red Velvet Truffle Brownies, Strawberry Shortcake cookies stuffed with cheesecake, Blue Velvet Brownies, Strawberries and Cream Cheesecake, etc.
QSM: I am proud of you and your story. All that you were able to accomplish is inspiring. Please tell people where they can follow and support you.
Sheila: Currently making my website for my dessert business but in the meantime my personal page on Instagram is SheilaWavy and for my dessert business it is sheilas_sweets_ and on Facebook Sheila's_Sweets
Photo credits:
Model: Sheila Sims
Photographer: @lionelwhytephotography
Pose Coach: @blu3modelcoachingllc
